Richard - on his high horse as always - rode slowly and sexily down his usual route. He was getting bored of all his twenty-five wives in the palace, and he would have liked a bit of variety in his mundane life.
Just then, he stumbled across what appeared to be a funeral amidst a thicket of bushes. He would have snorted and continued on his way, if not for the fact that he had caught a glimpse of a particularly beautiful woman lying in the open casket.
He descended from his horse and walked over to the (gasp) vision of pure beauty lying there. Upon closer inspection, he realised there were seven midgets obscuring the view.
Proceeding to shove two of the oddly short men out of his way, he knelt beside the casket and caressed her silky black cropped curls. She looked so beautiful, being dead and all, and he couldn't help himself.
He felt a sudden stirring in his gut, and a strong necrophiliac urge overtook him. He bent down to press his lips upon hers, and the seven dwarves collectively inhaled sharply.
However, the moment his lips brushed hers, she sat up, coughing, and a slice of an apple fell from her mouth. He immediately stood up and looked her up and down for a few seconds.
Her eyes fluttered upon, and her gaze settled upon the tall, equally dark-haired prince. "Oh, darling, have you come to rescue me from the curse?"
He frowned, and the beautiful lady looked quite taken aback.
Drawing his sword, he proceeded to plunge it into her stomach. As she fell to the ground, lifeless, he caught her in his arms, and smiled dashingly.
"I like her better this way."
---
I'm sorry, that was so random.
For the life of me, I've never understood why any prince would kiss a dead woman.
Just saying...
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