Cinderella 2.0

And so Charming held out his hand and the horse-drawn carriage with which he was to carry his new bride away screeched to a halt.

"You imbecile, I distinctly remember telling you that you were to stop just before the ratty little cobblestones outside that run-down house!"

Without waiting for his snotty little driver to reply, he flicked his shoulder-length, perfectly-coiffed hair over his tailored shoulder piece and descended daintily onto the filthy streets of the district.

"Lay out your coat for me to walk on, my shoes are new today."

His aforementioned "imbecile driver" (otherwise known as Ivan) sighed mentally.

"Well, aren't they new every day..."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I meant to say, 'Right away, Sire'."

Ivan bent forward and mentally told him to shove off, all while smiling as pleasantly as he could and laying out his best coat on the floor. Charming tossed his hair again and strode across Ivan's coat, making sure to grind it further into the cobblestone dirt with each step. Flinging open the doors of the cottage dramatically, he stood arms akimbo, all the while smiling Charmingly™ at the astounded residents of the house.

And waited.

And waited.

After about three seconds, his patience had worn thin.

"IMBECILE, WHERE'S THE WIND?!"

"Right away, Sire."

The weary Ivan ran forward and fanned Charming furiously, causing his ridiculously unnecessary cape to flutter gorgeously in the "wind".

All natural handsomeness, you see.

And Charming was pleased.

Satisfied, he strode snobbishly along the dusty ground of the house, loudly declaring a desire to meet with the "fair maiden who was able to fit into the glass slippers".

An awkwardly beautiful young lady stepped forward, and Charming's heart fluttered like a teenager's. This was her. He'd know her anywhere.

Her shiny hair resembled spun gold, and her complexion was as fair as fresh cream. Her nose, delicate and adorable, provided a lovely balance to the unabashed fullness of her lightly flushed lips. He sighed appreciatively, eyes trailing down to her tiny waist. The tight bodice she wore accentuated her beautiful shapeliness delightfully, and he delighted at the perkiness of her ample bosom.

His tone softened almost immediately. "Beauty, whatever is your name?"

"Ella," she replied, too shy to meet his eye.

At this moment, Ivan came rushing in, glass slipper in hand.

"Sire..."

However, Ella looked up at the sudden intrusion, and Ivan caught her eye. Their breaths hitched simultaneously, and Ivan nearly dropped the shoe.

"Ivan, pass me the shoe," Charming declared pompously, annoyed at the constant eye contact between the two.

In a flash, Charming had slipped the glass shoe onto Ella's foot, and was making eyes at her. "Oh, my fair lady, your foot is truly a perfect fit. You must come back to my palace and be my lawful wedded wife!"

She blanched. "I'm sorry, Your Highness. I...can't. There is another man."

His heart sank. "Who, pray ask, is this man so unworthy of your honorable love?"

Bashfully, she sidled over to Ivan. This time, it was Charming's turn to go completely pale.

"Him?!"

Ivan shrugged. "Well, you could always fire me, Sire, I'm getting too old to work anyway."

Combined with Ella's torturingly pleading eyes, Charming couldn't help but give in.

"Very well."

Dejected, Charming turned around and left, leaving Ella and Ivan in privacy. Just as Ivan was about to carry Ella off into the romantic sunset, a booming voice spoke for the last time from the doorway.

"Just one kiss, though?"

"No, Sire."

Charming pouted. "Fine, then I want the shoe back."