Don't Forget

When I say I'm bad at beginnings and endings I really mean it.

The following is kinda an example of a terrible starting.

Honestly, I have no idea how to improve it.

I'll title it later.

Get ready for a blast of emotion.

No more than the usual.

(;

Another night, another day of agony he thought. He stepped off the bus aimlessly, catching his foot on the sidewalk and nearly falling, almost comically to the floor beside the street lamp. It was late, he thought, under the glow of the light, very late.

Regaining his balance, he looked up and stumbled out of the bus stop. The days had been bad as of late, it was almost as if he was in a permanent stupor, like he was drunk, except he hated alcohol.

A figure loomed out of the gloom in front of him, coming suddenly yet not quite unexpectedly, like a dream creature materialising in a nightmare. The shape seemed startlingly familiar, and he paused. She stepped into the light and he stopped. She stopped too.

They both stood there for a while, in the silence. It all came back to them immediately, expectations, dreams, hopes, disappointment, anger, bitterness, all catching them in their powerful force, it was as if, as if no time had passed. But yet, things were different.

"Hey..." She offered uncertainly, her voice faltering as her brain failed to find something else to say.

"Go away." He said, almost mumbling and muttering it, he turned away, hurt on his face.

She took a half step forward and reached her arm out to him, searching for words for the moment, there were only two.

"I'm sorry..."

The words came hesitantly, but they came nonetheless. He struggled with the powerful emotions they triggered at him, unsure of how to proceed. He wanted to turn, hold her and never let go, but he wouldn't let himself, he couldn't.

She could see what he wanted, but also saw him fighting against it, and felt a tinge of regret spread within her.

"You didn't have to go."

He spoke slowly, but they hit her like bullets, so hard, so hurting, so true. It had been her, and he had borne more than anyone should have had to bear. She had her reasons, he had to see that. It had been hard on her too.

She watched as he stood there, hurting and angry in his conviction, she realized she couldn't hold herself back anymore, and flung her arms around him as he faced away from her. He stiffened momentarily and then felt his body instinctively relax. Right then, they remembered the happier times, the whispered ambitions, the forever they once had. Right then, they were them again, and once again, they managed to share forever.

Then he tore himself away from her, and looked at her in the face for the last time.

He was crying, she thought. She had never seen him do that before, not even when he thought she had gone forever. He was gone forever she realized, the wound had cut too deep. Too deep for her to heal, one that perhaps would only be fixed by another forever. A different one.

An icy chill gripped her heart as he said the words that she knew he would say. Don't say it, she silently begged, but as much as he didn't want to, he would.

"Goodbye." He said, finality in his voice. He managed to stride past her with all the willpower in his being before he choked up, and began to run, from her, from the past, to the future with no hope.

And it was her turn to feel that strange wetness on her face, blurring her vision, sticking to her glasses, ruining her make-up. She fumbled for a tissue, she had always been the stronger one, and dabbed at her eyes as she walked ahead to the bus stop and stared out at the night sky and the endless cars, endless possibilities that passed her by.

As they made their way away from each other, they both knew that the regrets would remain with them for a long time, that many other nights would be spent in despondency, pointless dreaming over what might have become. There was no going back for them they realized, and in a beautiful sad way, that was the last thought they ever shared.